Monday, September 19, 2016

Kindness in this Day and Age.

The world is not kind to nice people.  Why is that?

Don’t expect me to have an earth shattering answer to that question, as I don’t.  All I know for certain is that no matter how kind or understanding or giving we sometimes are, the world likes to stomp the kindhearted down. 

I wonder if the exceptionally nice people just feel the judgment of others more fully?  Do we care too much and that is why slights whether directed at us or directed at others, of even the simplest type get under our skin?  Do people know that is what happens to us and they get delight out of the little pokes and slices here and there just to see us crumple and break down?  Gossip and rumors may only be words, but their edges are as sharp as a knife. 

I wonder these things now and then as I go about my workday and see the scenes played out again and again.  The difference between me and others with this affliction is that I feel the hurt very deeply, yet I smile through it and laugh as usual, as though the person with the sword is a fool and has no power over me, when in truth, sometimes they are tearing me apart on the inside.  Some are not as lucky as me to have that exterior shield. 

I don’t know where this is going.  I’m just off some days at what I see and what I hear and the heartlessness of others.  I wish I could be mean and less kind. I wish I could care less what others do, think, and say.  I wish I could step back and lose some of my emotions.  Instead, I will smile and laugh, and I will move forward one step at a time with no one the wiser of the struggles I may or may not be facing.  I will read more and paint more and I will write me.  Some days that is enough.

The real and in my face reality is that maybe I need a different day job.  There are too many emotions involved in family law.  After 20+ years of being enmeshed in it, maybe I simply can’t push it aside anymore. Remember that the next time you have “just one simple questions” for me about your divorce or child custody case or adoption that isn’t going well.  Please.  Please. Just don’t.


Monday, September 12, 2016

What's New in the World of Me?

What’s new?  

1.         In my writing world my fans may be happy to hear that Before the Dawn, the third book in the A Howl in the Night series is now officially in the hands of my publisher.  Once I have an idea of publication dates I will be sure to let you know.

2.            Homecoming is this week for the High School and that means, for the Tiny Dancer as well.  This is her first go around with this event.  I can’t decide what emotion it is that I am feeling.  We went dress shopping just the two of us and we had a great time.  I realized we do have some of the same tastes in clothes, which was a bit of a shocker.  I have also passed along my shoe obsession, which is good and bad.  There are worse things to spend your money on.  But then I realize that the last of my children is in high school and well it’s not sadness I feel it’s just more of a creeping loss of something I can’t put my finger on.  Maybe as I see her getting ready and heading out the door come Saturday, I will figure it out.  The shoes by the way are gorgeous.  It helps that she has the dancer legs to pull them off. 

3.         I will be closing down the garden this week.  For my first go around with container gardening, it went well in some areas and not so well in others.  I don’t think peas were a good idea.  They simply didn’t have the space necessary to grow well.  Beans were kinda the same thing.  The tomatoes and the peppers did the best.  The cucumbers started off really well and then just fizzled out for whatever reason.  I still got a good crop of them while they were going strong though so I’m not complaining, I will just figure out how to make them do better next year.  I wonder if I could pull off corn in a container type setting?  Anyone know?

4.         My grandson, also known as my Sunshine, spends Saturdays with me.  Has since he was born pretty much, as his mamma has had to work Tuesdays through Saturdays.  She has been able to finally get on a Monday through Friday schedule and that means, I wont get to see my Sunshine as much.  I know that being able to sleep in on a Saturday now will be like heaven, but I am not sure the trade off is worth it.  In my head it sounds great, in my heart, I don’t like it at all.  We will see how it all shakes out.   

That’s pretty much it for me.  With school back in session and a firm dance schedule in place, things are currently running like clockwork.  Zumba has begun again for me and I am working on ideas for promotions.  All in all things are going well.  Let’s see how long that will last…

Have a great week everyone.