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Monday, February 4, 2013

The Dreaded: WHY?



According to The American Heritage Dictionary, the definition of the word “WHY” is as follows:  For what purpose, reason, or cause; with what intention, justification, or motive; 1.  The reason, cause, or purpose for which: 2. On account of which;  for which:

Seems pretty mundane a word, wouldn’t you think?  Well then you would be W R O N G.  I find continually that the word can cause perfectly calm people to turn into wild beasts of indignation in a span of one piddly second of time. 

Why is this?  I wonder it all the time.  For instance:  This weekend I had to stop into JP Morgan Chase to cash a check.  Now, I have been with this bank since before it was Chase and was in fact known as Bank One.  I have cashed many a check over the last..ahem….several years.  However this time, it was quite a different experience. 

As I wanted to be prepared so as not to hold up the line, I provided the check, signed on the back.  I provided my account number by way of my checkbook.  I provided my driver’s license to prove who I was.  I saw the account number keyed in.  The check was picked up and checked for signature.  My driver’s license sat untouched.  So I picked up my checkbook to put it away.  I picked up my driver’s license to do the same wherein I was snarled at:  “I’m not done with that!”  Well, pardon me.  She continued with, “I need to input your driver’s license number.”  Well, then I did the unthinkable.  I said, “Why?”

Oh my giddy aunt, the daggers shot at me over that simple question.  I was not questioning her authority, her place in the bank, her integrity, or her knowledge.  I was simply asking why they needed to add in my driver’s license number in order to cash a check on my own account when they know, who I am as provided by my license, and they have never that I am aware of done that before.  Why did she have to be so stinky and mean about it?  Why not just say, “Oh, that’s the new rule,” or whatever.  I just wondered.

The visit went down hill from there.  She processed my check without another word, stuffed the cash all in an envelope and shoved the envelope at me with a horribly scary smile and a fake and kinda mean sounding, “Have a nice day.”  Well, I was not impressed. 

I mean seriously, why?  I find this same experience to happen when dealing with educators.  No, not ALL of them.  Settle down.  Sometimes I just want to understand.  The stated “Do it this way,” usually causes me to say, “Why?”  Not because I have a better way, but because I want to know how that way was decided?  Or why is that way the ONLY way to do a task. 

So I guess what I am getting at people is that sometimes, why is just simply that:  Why?  Do we all get so defensive from that little word?  I admit that I have a time or two.  When I realize I have done it, I try very hard to back up, take a breath and lose the tude.  Why do we do that?  What is in us that hard wires us to freak out? 


On a separate note, I am on the last books within the Tressa Jayne Turner series, and I still am enjoying the reads.  I love that girl.  She is so…so…me.  Any hoo, just sharing in case anyone was on the fence as to whether or not to purchase or find the books.  Very fun reads. 






8 comments:

  1. The word why does make us get defensive sometimes because we feel like someone is questioning us, and possibly judging us. It's good to step back and look at the question calmly though.

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    1. I agree Kelly. I try very hard to do that. I really do.

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  2. I always ask why too, Courtney, especially if it's something new. Even if they tell me they don't know, I'm usually like, okay. It's not a big deal. I just like to ask. But I do believe why has hidden meanings we pick up on when asked.

    Like when I ask my kids why they did something naughty. I don't really want to know the reason behind what they did. I want them to think through their actions and realize what they did wasn't the right thing to do. So I'm actually questioning their judgement.

    Does that make sense?

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    1. I can see what you mean Mariah. I think I am guilty of that too at times. Usually though when dealing with adults, its really just because I wonder.

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  3. I got in so much trouble with that world as a teen at the horse show barns. I could never just go along and do what I was commanded. I always asked "why?" They didn't appreciate that much. Especially when the answer was "because, it's the way it is done." "But why? Why do we need to do that?" I think they got so mad because they didn't have an answer to the questions.

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    1. I still get into trouble because of that word! My mom would say, "Just go with the flow, Courtney" and I would always think, "But I dont want to be a sheep, I want to be a tiger." True story.

      ctny

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  4. Boy is that a trouble making word! And since I always want to know the "why" of things, I get into lots of trouble! I so want to ask the grocery store why it's necessary for them to ask me the last four digits of my credit card when I just swiped it and they have it! And they always ask AFTER I've put it away and there is someone standing right there to hear me. Someday I'm going to be in a really bad mood and ask "why do you need that you x&@#$%$%!!!"

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    1. Oh LOL Allyn! I know right? I do not like to just shout out personal stuff like that.

      ctny

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