Through Other People's Eyes

You never know how you look through someone else’s eyes.  Have you heard that line before?  It always strikes me and makes me think and ponder.  How do I appear to others?  It’s not even that it really truly matters to me anymore.  Oh, it would have when I was younger, but anymore, not so much, most of the time.  It’s just a vague, hmmm, type of thought for me.  The other people in my day-to-day world, what do they see?  Do they see a struggling to be organized and failing woman full of chaos?  Or, do they see the calm and all together professional woman with an artsy way and laid-back demeanor?  Does it really matter if they buy the screen I have put up or if they see through it?  No.  Yes.  Maybe.  It really depends on the day, and which woman I am at the moment.  When I have it all together, I could care less.  When it seems like everything is falling apart at the seams, it does.  I don’t want anyone to see me struggle.  At all.

Then you have the other side to that coin.  Why does it matter if they see that I am human and have good days and bad days?  I don’t want my life to be a burden on someone else.  We all are struggling in some way.  We all have good days and bad day.  I don’t want my bad moment to add more weight to someone else’s all ready burdened shoulders.  I’m very contrary though as other days, I really just want to unload and cry on someone else so that they can hear all the good, the bad, and the ugly of my day and then tell me, it will all be okay whether it’s true or not.  I don’t every really do it, but trust me, I really want to.  I come close now and then, and then I see their face that says, “oh Lord, I can’t deal with this right now” so I suck it back in, paste on a smile and say, no, it’s all-good.  Everything great.  Kids are great.  Jobs great.  Writing is great.  Everything is just great.  Great, great, great. 

The rain is getting to me. It’s making me melancholy.  So back to my initial question, how do you look though someone else’s eyes?  I look great.  Ha!

ctny

The 5th of May

Happy Cinco De Mayo!  Or otherwise known as:  My birthday!  How many people do you know get to celebrate an actual Fiesta on their Birthday?  I like to pretend that the day of my birth was so awe-some that they had to create a holiday for the world to celebrate.  

Enjoy the week everyone.  My plans are:

1.  Writing – Duh.  I am slow but steadily making progress on my WIP.  Halfway through the first rough draft and heading forward.  I find the 2^nd half of a book is almost harder to write than the first.  Yes, there is more action and there is more excitement, but it’s also where I spend the most time trying to tie up all the edges and trying to complete the plot circles for little side adventures.  The 2^nd half is more fun, but it is harder for me.  We will see how much progress I make this week.

2.  Outside work.  We were able to get the front lawn mowed, but the back is way to long to do with the little push mower we have.  Why do we have a push mower with our acreage?  We like the exercise of.  I don’t know why, we just do.  Plus the push mower makes the lawn look so much tidier than the tractor does.  However, the first real cut of the season will need the use of a tractor so, we will haul it out and get it done.  

3.  Looking for Arts and Books Festivals to sign up for.  I see a lot of new ones popped up this year that I didn’t get in on.  I am making sure that doesn’t happen next year.

Nothing much else to report.  I will be having a fiesta tonight for dinner.  Then to top off the great day, a new season of “24” begins tonight. Woo Hoo!  Jack Bauer…how can you not love that guy?  

Have a great week!

ctny