You have made it all the way here, so you may as well sit down, take a minute to look around, and enjoy. What you will find, depends on the day and my mood. You just never can tell.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Snapping Hip/Sleeping Foot Update

Snapping turtle what?  - Snapping Hip Syndrome is as good as it’s going to get for my tiny dancer.  She will for the rest of her dance life, struggle and fight with the annoyance and sometimes pain of her hip issues.  She has been cleared from Physical Therapy with a list of exercises/stretches to attend to in order to help alleviate the issue, but it is still an issue.  This brings me to my question of:  What the Hell was the point of the PT then?  Why not just give her the exercises and tell her Good Luck.  Oh no.  Instead we spend $300 PER SESSION (that is after my insurance covered a whole $28) for them to tell me, that’s it.  She’s good to go. Yes, it still snaps and grinds and is an issue, but she’s done all the same.  Frustrated?  Oh ho, that is not even close to how I am feeling.  However, I’m glad we are done with the PT.  She has learned some good stretching and strengthening techniques that will be of use to her for the rest of her life.  We met several people that are having way worse issues than we are and it gave us some perspective that maybe we should be joyous in a small way even through her own pain.  Am I happy with the resolution:  No.  Am I happy to have it behind us all the same:  Yes.

Drop Foot – This is another one of those WTH things that I am at a loss as to what to do about it.  The foot is getting better, in that it is no longer asleep or tingly.  She is gaining strength in it, albeit slower than molasses on an icicle, but it is getting better.  She has gone through xrays, where they found nothing, to a movement eliminating boot.  She has gone through no dance for almost 4 weeks (of which I thought was going to kill us both).  She has gone through PT (no, just don’t ask).  She has now gone through an MRI, of which came back perfect and normal and no problems they can see in the spine or the brain stem.  So, now they want to do an EMG.  I kind of want to just say screw it all.  My dancer is going through test after test and pain after pain, and they have no idea what is going on or why.  Yet, it’s getting better, all by itself.  WTH.  I understand that it is the practice of medicine, but can they practice on someone else for a while? 

I have put off the EMG for a few weeks.  If my girl is better by the time the appointment comes up, I’m not having her go through it.  Who wants needles and electricity coursing through their legs if there is not an issue anymore?  I’m lost and don’t know what to do.  Thankfully I have about 3 weeks to wait and see what happens.

Calgon…take me away….

Monday, January 12, 2015

Sia - Elastic Heart

Have you heard of this song?  Have you seen the video?  Apparently the video is making quite the wave of hate on the Internet.  So much so that Sia has issues an apology. 

I am a fan of Sia.  I am also aware of young Maddie from Dance Moms that made a smash hit of the Chandelier song, which featured her in the video.  I watched it and loved it.  I admit it.  It’s a great video and Maddie does a great job whether you like her or not.  So when the new video came out with Shia LeBeouf and Maddie, I went out and gave it a look-see. 

It’s…strange.  It’s a bit off putting.  It’s very weird.  I didn’t hate it.  I didn’t love it. It did however get me thinking about it.  Maddie is a whole 12 years old.  Shia is 28.  There is a bit of…something…not love, not romance, or desire, but maybe…wanting.  I pushed it off as one that I wasn’t going to be in love with and moved on.  Then I saw post after post and hate after hate about the pedophilia nature of the video and I stopped and thought, wait, what did I miss. 

I have now watched it several times as I wanted to make a real, time spent opinion of it.  So what do I think?  I don’t believe that Maddie is supposed to be a girl in the video. I almost think of her as a wild animal.  Not a girl. She changes throughout and becomes less wild and more human’esq, but still that wild beast of the first part, rings true.  Is she a shifter?  Is she a beast that changes to human?  That I couldn’t say, but wild creature she is.  Shia spends the video angry at times running and shouting and swinging fists.  Then others he spends trying to tame the beast.  He is stuck within the cage (physical and metaphysical I think) and can’t get out.  Maddie is able to leave and does so, which at first infuriates Shia and then leaves him broken and sad and maybe dead or dying.  I didn’t find it pornographic or pedophilic and I am a bit of a prude.  Maybe it's an innocent/evil thing.  She is an innocent (then why the wildness???) and he is evil, a monster trying to take or hold onto it.  

Again, I have to say, it’s weird.  It’s very strange.  Not thinking it gets to the point of calling it child porn or pedophilia though.  I think it stays well within the range of artistic insanity.  I still don’t really like it.  However, Shia does an awesome job in it all the same.  It surprised the holy heck out of me.

That’s my personal take on the video.  You can have a different one.  This is mine. 

Monday, January 5, 2015

Happy New Year - 2015

Welcome to the year 2015.  We made it through 2014. I am not really into resolutions anymore.  I was when I was younger but now I simply don’t have time.  Last year was a very hard year for me, although rewarding in some areas as well.   

So, what did I learn last year?  What do I want to do better this year? 

1.  One thing I would like to do better in the coming years is to take a breath more often for myself.  I spend a lot of time and energy on everyone but myself.  I will wear myself out for everyone and then have nothing left for me.  Not even half an hour for a read.  I put everyone ahead.  Even people that are not family and a few simply acquaintances, will be put ahead of myself.  I spent most of last year utterly exhausted.  I will be trying very hard to say no.  It’s not in my nature, but I am going to work on it. 

2.  I am a grandmother.  Did you know that?  I have a wonderful, full of life, one-year-old Grandson.  When I was a new mother, I would get so much un-needed and un-wanted advice from everywhere I turned.  I hated it.  I have tried very hard not to be that person, to wait until I am asked before giving my opinion.  I cannot tell you how freaking hard that is.  Watching, knowing you could help, knowing you have good information that could be utilized.  Failing miserably at not being that overbearing opinionated person.  It’s very hard on the outside to sit quietly when a baby is crying or getting into trouble or learning something the hard way or sick or whatever.  I hope even with all my failures at keeping my mouth shut that I am not THAT person I so loathed as a new mother.  I will continue to work on this.  I promise. 

3.  I always feel very energized during NANO.  Yes a little stressed and overwhelmed, but I feel good about the writing.  It’s the deadline and the schedule that I seem to thrive under.  I want to continue to feel that energy during the year.  Not just during the month of November.  I tried to keep it going during December, but the holidays crushed any imagination I may have had.  However, I am back up and running and moving forward.  For those that are interested, I finished the first draft of Howl 2, now to be known as:  The Full Moon Rises.  I have already begun my first round of edits and I plan on kicking butt throughout this month to get it done and sent off to my publisher. 

Those are the main ideas for my year.  Maybe to some they are resolutions, but to me, they are life changes that I want to make in myself forever, not just for the new year.   So with that being said, I am off to continue with my edit and hope to have draft 2 done in a few days, if I can find the time to myself.  We all know how I am with that…Happy New Year everyone!